#FookFifty – I’ll Kiss Your Ass!

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Holy smoke I can’t believe it
I’m on this planet 50 years.
How time flies. Where did it go?
What’s next for me I’d like to know.

My childhood memories are fond and warm
With so much laughter love and play.
But I also remember the wooden spoon
Mammy used it to keep bad manners at bay.

The teenage years confused me plenty
Bras, Immac, and hormones galore.
The child within was disappearing
Blonde curls and peachy skin no more.

Ready now to disco dance, and eye up the boys for a fine romance
But I soon discovered it wasn’t so easy;
The boys I liked they passed me by
I couldn’t speak, I was awfully shy.

Wham and Blondie on my wall
Adam Ant…I had them all.
Simon Le Bon was hot as hell
The Police and Madness had me under their spell.

I kissed their faces in magazines
Patches, Jackie, and Seventeen.
Madonna and The Bangles I wanted to be
And David Bowie I longed to see.

I dressed like Madonna and had a big curly perm
My skirts they were short and my bosom was firm.
Eyes coloured black and lips painted pink
Yes…looking like that I got the odd wink.

The years they passed bringing many changes
Responsibilities, values, transformations.
Experiencing life at different stages
And finding my path through all my ages.

From 30 onwards things started heading south
Push-up bras, haemorrhoids, grey hair, and gout.
Forgetfulness, crows feet, PMS,
Tweezers, cover stick, so much stress.

But hey, I tell you
It ain’t that bad,
I’d rather be a Mammy than a big hairy dad.

Marriage, children, separation, divorce
My stubborn streak was my driving force.
Let downs, turnarounds, friends and foes
I learned from my good times, my sorrows, my woes.

By the time I was 40, I found my path
I married again – yes you heard that!
My soulmate, my pal, he’s handsome and wise
He put fire in my soul and light in my eyes.

What will happen in my 50’s I really can’t tell
No doubt the hormones will put me through hell.
There’s this thing called the menopause
It’s meant to be dire,
It makes you sweat and puts you on fire.

My poor little ovaries will shrivel and empty
Estrogen, progesterone, no more aplenty.
Sore boobs, bloating and goodbye flow
Mood swings, bingo wings, loss of libido? Oh no…

But I have my remedies ready and waiting

Gaye Moore and her girls are motivating.

And like a true woman warrior, I’m ready for this
#fookfifty I say, it’s ass I will kiss!

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20 thoughts on “#FookFifty – I’ll Kiss Your Ass!”

  1. Happy Birthday to You 💓
    Happy Birthday to You 💓💗💓
    Happy Birthday Dear Tasheenga 💕💓💗💓💕
    Happy HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU 💕💓💗💝💖💝💓💗💕

    50 is the new 40 😂 …..
    Grey is the new Black……
    Embrace life with love …….
    You’re on the right track ……..

    X💖X💝X💖X

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  3. I have never had a problem with aging, and at 54 I don’t feel old at all. But recently I am quite cognizant of the old “there are more days behind me than there are in front of me” type of thinking. Might be one of reasons I feel so eager to write a book some day soon. And, for that matter, even a reason I started my blog. Need to get some things out that need getting out I guess. Having said that, I have been looking forward to the senior coffee discount at my local Whataburger and IHOP. That will be cool. Great blog and awesome poem! Happy birthday and best of luck on the next half of the century! -Robert

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    • Same here Robert. I don’t mind getting older. Life is what you make it. (I hope I will always think this way)
      Write the book. I’m writing mine after years of talking about it. It’s a slow process but I’m getting there. I must check if theres such thing as senior coffee discounts anywhere round here! Wouldn’t want to miss out! Thank you for reading and commenting Robert.

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