So the big night arrived. The final dinner in the Come Dine With Me 2017 Competition, hosted by yours truly. All my plotting and planning had come together quite nicely.

I decided on the Spanish theme a couple of months ago when I took Little Miss Six Year Old to a birthday party. They had a piñata and boy were they having a fabulous time. Some of the kids scared me a bit – they were ruthless!

I had fleeting images of Mohotma Coatalay thrashing the bejaysus out of one of these things. That’s when the idea came to me. Weh hey!!! A Spanish Dinner Party! With a piñata!

I needed more entertainment than a piñata of course. I had to remember that this was a competition and I didn’t win it last time. I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could hire real live Spanish dancers to entertain my guests. Wow…..that would be fab!

However, my budget wouldn’t stretch to such extravagance. The price of a plane ticket from Spain to Knock is mental! Such a pity I didn’t personally know any Spanish entertainers that could give me a discount and pay for their own plane tickets.

But then I thought, hang on there, I DO know real live Spanish entertainers! Esmeralda and Fernando! How could I forget! Do you know how I met Esmeralda? Go here and you’ll find out!

A quick phone call to the lady herself and after very little persuasion, (she’s very dedicated) she agreed to entertain us. But it had to remain a secret from Mohotma Coatalay and Saphirra. I was looking forward to seeing the shock on their faces when our vivacious friends arrive. I was so excited!!

I’m not a very organised person and I don’t care that I’m not, because everything always falls into place – in the end. The days prior to my dinner party, I checked google once or twice for some Spanish recipes. Seemed straight forward and not too difficult. Tapas for everyone and paella – the slow cooker version of course. Easy life!

Tip when hosting a dinner party: Unless you’re Nigella Lawson, don’t try to impress your guests with food that takes hours to prepare and hours to cook! Just don’t! And if you don’t have own slow cooker, write to Santa for one.

Because I live in the West of Ireland, and my friends live in the East, they were staying for the whole weekend. Mohotma Coatalay had to bring Mr Coatalay because he would be very lonely spending 3 days at home alone.

Saphirra’s other half, Kumar, was off breeding piebald ponies somewhere down the country.

Stephano was delighted that he was invited also, and will not be thrown out as soon as the guests arrive. Because he really HATES being sent to the pub where he would have to drink Guinness and Jameson for hours on end!

The plans were going smoothly from morning onwards. Esmeralda was keeping in touch by text, as was Saphirra and Mohotma Coatalay. We had to be careful that they wouldn’t arrive in town together or the big entrance wouldn’t happen as planned.

Stephano met Esmeralda and Fernando in the Bolg Bui where they got dressed in their costumes. The locals were mesmerised by the antics of the exotic couple as they practised their routine up and down the pub floor. El Porompompero blared from Esmeralda’s Bluetooth device out into the busy streets of Ballina.

Before they left the pub, Esmeralda thought it would be an excellent idea to paint Stephano’s face to suit the theme of the dinner party. Stephano wasn’t one bit impressed by this but he knows better than to argue with the Queen of Parties!

Meanwhile, Saphirra and the Coatalays arrived at our humble abode. I did the expected meet and greet, kisses, hugs, here’s your room, here’s the loo and stay outta my kitchen. A quick lesson on how to boil one cup of water and everyone was happy. Drinks all round and I sent the text.

*They’re here.*

Ten minutes later, Stephano enters the building looking like Antonio Banderas’ twin brother, half-brother, cousin far-out relation! My jaw dropped to the floor when I saw the get-up of him. I knew it wasn’t safe to leave him alone in the hands of Esmeralda!

Still in stitches laughing at the transformation of Stephano the hottie, we were all well and truly in the party mood. I then announced that the entertainment this evening was happening before dinner.

“So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, your entertainment for the evening – Esmeralda and Fernandoooooo”!!!

I opened the door and El Porompompero vibrated the walls as our two buddies made their grand entrance. Well, I swear I nearly wet myself watching Saphirra’s face. Shock and disbelief to begin with. Her eyes like doughnuts and her mouth open but unable to speak. A bit zombie-like….motionless. Then the squeals of delight from her and Mohotma Coatalay drowned out Esmeralda’s music. Now the party had started!!

Esmeralda clapped her hands and danced the Flamenco up and down the kitchen floor. Fernando was using Saphirra’s head as his Cajon because he left his instruments at home. Her head didn’t quite sound like a Cajon – it was more of a rattling sound like the maracas. As if there was something loose inside! Funny thing is….she seemed to enjoy it.

The music switched from El Porompompero to El brazo mochon, leading Esmeralda and Fernando into the fandango. More hand clapping and sultry glances between the twosome as they twirled and stomped with intense emotion. A stranger would believe that these two were on a red hot first date and not married half a lifetime!

They finished up dancing the Bolero. We all clapped and stamped our feet while playing invisible castanets. Esmeralda and Fernando quick stepped each other with a passion that only the Spaniards possess for a dance such as this!

As my guests sat at the dining table for dinner, Fernando took on the role of Manuel, the renowned and lovable waiter. Although he was as much use as a chocolate teapot! However, he kept the others entertained while I organised the tapas.

Tapas are a great idea for a dinner party because they can be prepared in advance, they’re versatile, and can be served cold or warm.

I started with a green leafy salad bowl, cherry tomatoes, olives, crusty bread, serrano ham, dips and speedy smoked salmon crackers. You’ll find Martha Stewart’s recipe for the smoked salmon crackers HERE. I didn’t add Neufchatel cheese because I’ve never heard of Neufchatel cheese and Lidl didn’t have any. They were scrumptious by the way.

Anchovy dip (Martha Stewart again), does not sound very appetizing but seriously, you’ve got to try it. Even the men loved it and you know how fussy and pernickety they can be. My other dip was roasted red pepper hummus. I found a recipe for that HERE (I couldn’t find one on Martha’s site). Delicious recipe but, I didn’t roast my own peppers because ……because……I just didn’t want to. I used sweet peppers from a jar. Lid I didn’t add tahini to my hummus either. It was delicious without it.

Now, I did warn Mr Coatalay not to be greedy with the bread because all these little dishes would be coming to the table for at least the next two hours. He didn’t take much heed of me at all. I suspected that he thought this was some kind of eating competition rather than a cooking competition! Every time I looked at him he had a face on him like a hamster. The poor divil was starving!

Manuel, aka Fernando, made several attempts to help but every time he stood up, Esmeralda shoved him back in his chair. “Qué qué? Sí sí”, he would shout in his rich deep voice. Then he began to criticize some of the food. Apparently, butterhead lettuce is not Spanish, the tomatoes weren’t sweet enough and the bread wasn’t homemade. Esmeralda must have him spoilt rotten.

While they were busy chatting and nibbling away, I put some chorizo & pepper skewers under the grill. When they were ready – after about 5 minutes – I put in their place Lamb chops mechoui.

The lamb was the last tapas dish served. This was everybody’s favourite of the night. Simple and very tasty! Mr Coatalay was hardly able to move at this stage. He was so full of bread and chorizo that when he saw me coming with the giant bowl of paella, he nearly passed out.

Fernando had plenty to say about the lack of peas in the paella. This was my first time to cook paella and I was quite proud of how it turned out. More peas next time maybe!

I almost didn’t cook paella because all the recipes look scary but I discovered a slow cooker recipe. Find it HERE. There is no such thing as a difficult slow cooker recipe.

The wine was flowing along with the fun and laughter. It had to be piñata time. No words are coming to me just now! But I do have some Gifs!

Yes indeed, the piñata was a lot of fun. It was like being a child again – with permission. Very therapeutic!

To finish off dinner, I served fresh fruit flan with fresh cream for dessert. Nice and light, which was ideal because everyone was quite full up at this stage.

The entertainment, laughter and banter continued well into the early hours of the morning. We sang, warbled and cajoled until 6.00am. One or two didn’t make it past 4 but we sorted them out the following night! So we did!

No mention yet of the Big Reveal 2017. I wonder how much different it will be from The Big Reveal 2015?

Thank you very much for reading. Want to know what happened earlier on in the competition? Click on the images below to read all about it!

Please note; banter and sarcasm come with being part of my circle of friends. So, no egos or feelings were injured during the writing of these blog posts!!